Bold of you to assume I didn’t contract consumption deliberately in an attempt to woo my necromantic ex-fiancé to bring me back from the dead so I could subtly use my super sexy undead influence to drag their name through the mud and then drag them into the grave with me so we can be hot skeletons living in the dirt

seriously-though-wtf:

treebagel:

It’s even funnier when you realize he was talking to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

kocurek1921:

harrytheehottie:

Elliot Page has the chance to do the single funniest thing in the history of Hollywood.

were–ralph:

spaceshipsandpurpledrank:

how did Lou stay so straight faced that is a fucking skill

pansyfem:

pansyfem:

i love when you see skinny pre t guys on here saying they want to be a bear some day. fantastic life aspiration. start eating

being hairy and fat myself (im 19 so i feel weird calling myself a bear, yknow? cub, maybe.) its really refreshing to see a trend of guys who are interested in hairness and fatness after ive seen so much fatphobia and shaming in the transmasc community. it’s nice.

evilmario666:

evilmario666:

evilmario666:

“Period cramps” are actually psychic attacks. 

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is the name of a demon

“You’re a cis man. How do you know this?”

1. I’m a psychic warrior.
2. I’m a super empath.

atlas-of-galaxies:

what they don’t tell you about the magnus archives before you start listening is that it’s terminal. you’ll never be able to consume any other type of horror media without assigning entities ever again

vexwerewolf:

xeansicemane:

prokopetz:

“Isn’t it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal” I mean, there’s a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn’t have enough poison in it.

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We’re not fast and don’t have a lot of natural weaponry but we’re bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.

blazevillains:

grabs you. hey. listen. one day youll get out of your parents house. you will be able to not go to church on sunday. you will be able to cut and dye your hair any colour you want. you will be able to wear crazy eyeliner and black lipstick or whatever makeup you want. you can swear and be openly queer with your friends and transition and date. YOULL GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!!!

margoterobbies:

Barbie Pink & Fabulous ― ‘Barbie’ Los Angeles Photocall
Barbie 1959 ― 'Barbie’ Bondi Beach Photocall
Barbie Day to Night ― 'Barbie’ Seoul Premiere
Barbie Sparkling Pink ― 'Barbie’ Seoul Press Conference
Earring Magic Barbie ― 'Barbie’ Mexico Premiere
Totally Hair Barbie ― 'Barbie’ Mexico Photocall
Solo in the Spotlight Barbie ― 'Barbie’ Los Angeles Premiere
Enchanted Evening Barbie ― 'Barbie’ London Premiere

babyfairy:

everyone say happy pride month to the butch lesbian chicken

glowcowboy:

tinnitus is so stupid. what u mean eeeEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeEeeee!!!!!!!!! like girl shut up.

Ya boi bouta see barbie

He/it

loverbear-butch:

i’m both dumber and smarter than you think so don’t underestimate me because i’m actually smart about a lot of stuff but also don’t be surprised if i’m dumb about some other stuff hope that helps

punkitt-is-here:

tis a powerful name……but power comes with a price…..never take without knowing the consequences, traveler

mapswithoutwyoming:

manywinged:

manywinged:

AITA for realizing that my best friend is actually a ghost and not telling him because i’m worried that if he realizes he’s dead he’ll finally be able to accept it and fully pass on and i won’t be able to hang out with him anymore?

AITA if i’ve been dead for a while but haven’t told my best friend yet because he doesn’t seem to have realized i’m a ghost and if he does i’m worried that he’ll finally be able to accept it and let me go and i can’t bear the thought of losing him?

AITA for killing that guy